god bless

Like everything I've done has been a sham. Until today, I've been a shell of my former self. In retrospect, I wonder, "Who was she? When I finally asked myself, "Why did she do that?" everything started to make sense. I'm there in the moment, and I'm aware of it. I used to feel like I was playing a game.

For so long, I've been drifting through life, haunted by a sense of emptiness. Regret was my constant companion, weighing me down with every step. But this year, something changed. It was as if a flicker of light ignited within me, and I began to truly embrace who I am. It's a rarity to find myself surrounded by people I genuinely enjoy, but when it happens, it's only with those who truly bring me joy. This newfound clarity has transformed my existence, and it's been a welcome change of pace.

Of course, there are still moments of hardship and challenges along the way. But even those bitter experiences hold a bittersweet beauty, for they serve as reminders of the lessons I've learned. Life has a way of guiding us through both highs and lows, shaping us into stronger individuals.

As a linguistics student, I recently completed my degree. The three years that once seemed never-ending suddenly passed by in a flash. From the time of the outbreak to the reopening of the university, I anxiously awaited a placement for my internship. So much has transpired in such a short span of time.

This month, I can proudly say that I've achieved success through hard work and dedication. I've made a conscious effort to spend quality time with the people who matter most to me, and as a result, I've found a newfound stability. I've rediscovered the joys of traveling and taking care of myself, things I had almost forgotten amidst the chaos of life.

In terms of my internship, I've already had two interviews, and the one I had my heart set on accepted my application. It's in Mont Kiara, a place I never thought I'd have the opportunity to explore. Shamelin has been a part of my identity for as long as I can remember, but now I'm excited to step outside its familiar boundaries between 9 to 5 on weekdays.

My personal space has expanded and become more comfortable, reflecting the growth I've experienced. In every corner of this room, I've left pieces of myself, creating a sanctuary that feels uniquely mine. And alongside me, there's Osmen, a constant companion who brings me solace. I continue to channel my creativity through journaling, an ongoing outlet for my thoughts and emotions whenever inspiration strikes.

That's where I stand at the moment. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, self-discovery and growth. And through it all, I carry a sense of gratitude for the experiences that have shaped me. Life is a complex tapestry of moments, and I'm learning to embrace each thread as it weaves itself into my story.

Always in my thoughts,

Present me